Playing at our edge, reconnecting with our North Stars, and using AI to visualise 2024
This month in Hit Pause, Then Play, I talk about free will (do we have it?), what happens with end-of-year reviews, my favourite books of 2023, and having fun with ChatGPT into 2024
🤔 3 things I’m thinking
1. Do we have free will/agency? Really? (Pause)
A few weeks ago, I listened to a podcast with Robert Sapolsky, a professor of biology and neurology at Stanford and the author of a new book called Determined: A Science of Life Without Free Will.
For many years, I have believed we have agency to shape our lives and make decisions that impact them for the better.
However, Professor Sapolsky holds that everything we are and do is due to everything that has come before. The fact that I will choose a black coffee on a Monday and a hot tea on a Tuesday is not me choosing; it’s determined - by what I am responding to biologically, by influences in my environment, by the decisions of others, by my childhood - or even yesterday’s - experiences.
He takes this argument further - what if people who commit crimes are also not acting of their own free will? He asserts that as we believe we have free will, we can and do judge and hold others responsible for their acts. But what if those acts were predetermined?
Hold on. I know. What?! We’re not responsible? I can just see you staring down the screen at me. And that’s not exactly what I’m saying, but it’s close.
Studies show that when people do not believe they have free will, they start to behave more ethically, not less.
What? Yep, another mind explosion.
Listen to the podcast. Let me know what you think. 🤯
2. Pushing and playing at our edge (Play and Passion)
If you learn to play at your edge, you learn to stop shying away from discomfort. You grow and learn in new ways. And you develop a confidence in yourself that is hard to do when you stay in your comfort zone. - Leo Babauta
An email came across my desk last week from a human I’ve been following for what feels like decades, Leo Babauta over at Zen Habits. I have tremendous respect for him and his work. This particular email caught me at just the right time. In it:
Leo Babauta discusses the practice of pushing/playing at the “edge” in various areas of life.
He emphasises the importance of rest, recovery and focusing on only 1-2 areas to push at the edge.
He provides examples of areas where one can practice at the edge, such as running, strength training, learning, creating and relationships.
He suggests celebrating any little victory and being curious when at the edge.
Finally, he recommends only practising at the edge about 20-25% of the time in each area.
Trying to do too much - or feeling guilty for not "doing enough" - only weakens us.
Read the full post here.
3. End-of-year review, resolutions and notes to self (Purpose)
I’ve just spent almost two full days gazing out at the snow-covered Alps as I reviewed 2023. A lot of people review their years - I am in great company. 😊There are tons of tools to do so, but sitting down and making it a priority can be challenging. Last year at this time, I was travelling in India, and somehow never got to reviewing 2022, having been ill before travelling and jumping straight into work upon my return.
I regret it.
Not having reviewed my 2022 and taken the quiet, solitary time to reflect on where I was in my life meant that throughout 2023, I felt a little south of my North Star. I hadn’t reflected on my challenges, my wins, the directions I felt pulled to. I did have my meditation practice and much time in nature in 2023, but I lacked closure on 2022 and felt somewhat unprepared for the major changes that would come with 2023.
So, I took the time it took to reflect on 2023 - and have things like word clouds and graphics showing monthly ratings, I have notes per month and thoughts on the people I spent the year with, reflections on what went well and what went less well.* I now also have thoughts and feelings down on paper on what I would like to learn and try to create and do and be in 2024. I feel as if I have connected with myself again, which is, to me, the very point.
As I was reviewing my year, this lovely post, again from one of my long-favourite writers, Maria Popova, came to my attention:
Resolutions for a Life Worth Living: Attainable Aspirations Inspired by Great Humans of the Past
I loved these resolutions in particular:
VIKTOR FRANKL: HAVE MORE MUSIC AND NATURE IN YOUR LIFE
LEO TOLSTOY: CHOOSE KINDNESS
RACHEL CARSON: EMBRACE THE LONELINESS OF CREATIVE WORK
BERTRAND RUSSELL: BROADEN YOUR LIFE AS IT GROWS SHORTER
How about you? Which ones resonate most for you?
*If you’re interested, I’ve been doing this year-end review since 2017. I have my own template (which means I can compare years), which I built out broadly based on this.
As a small note to self for recording and remembering 2024 - and maybe something you might like, too - there is this, from another favourite writer and thinker, Seth Godin:
When you’re having a good day,
go for a walk and record a ten-minute audio
sharing your optimism, confidence and possibility.
You’ll want to listen to it again.
Here’s to a nice ending for 2023 and many good days filled with optimism, confidence and possibility in 2024. 🎉
📚 The books I loved most in 2023
I set a goal of reading 23 books in 2023 and slid in just under the wire with 27. What were my favourites? Ah, it’s hard to choose. Regular readers may, however, recognise my top two. The third is my favourite fiction choice of the year.
Selfless: The Social Creation of “You” by Brian Lowery: In Selfless, Brian Lowery argues for the radical idea that the “self” as we know it—that “voice in your head”—is a social construct, created in our relationships and social interactions. We are unique because our individual pattern of relationships is unique. We change because our relationships change. Your self isn’t just you, it’s all around you. Lowery uses this research-driven perspective of selfhood to explore questions of inequity, race, gender, politics, and power structures, transforming our perceptions of how the world is and how it could be.
The Nature Fix: Why Nature Makes Us Happier, Healthier, and More Creative by Florence Williams: From forest trails in Korea, to islands in Finland, to groves of eucalyptus in California, Williams investigates the science at the confluence of environment, mood, health, and creativity. Delving into completely new research, she uncovers the powers of the natural world to improve health, promote reflection and innovation, and ultimately strengthen our relationships.
Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin: This book takes us on a dazzling imaginative quest as it examines the nature of identity, creativity, disability, failure, the redemptive possibilities in play and, above all, our need to connect: to be loved and to love.
What books did you love in 2023? What are you looking forward to reading in 2024? Let me know - I’d love to hear about what you’re reading and looking forward to reading!
🔥1 spark for you
💡 How to get inspired with AI visualisations
Need some extra motivation or inspiration as we slide into the new year?
Here's an incredibly simple yet powerful way to envision and manifest your ideal future self in 2024 — courtesy of Jodie Cook:
Open ChatGPT and type the following prompt:
Generate an inspirational landscape image depicting my ideal future self from behind, wearing [insert clothing], [insert action like working, relaxing etc.], and situated in [describe ideal location like apartment, office, etc.]
Save the image as your desktop background, using it as inspiration to help visualise your ideal reality!
Here’s mine, for fun 👇. I’d love to see yours if you feel like sharing!
Anything else?
💌You might like one of my recent posts
Beyond Monogamy: An Introduction to Ethical Non-Monogamous Relationships - The first in a series on Designing Love: Exploring Polyamory and Ethical Non-Monogamy.
Love Multiplied: A Historical Perspective on Polyamory - The second in the above-named series.
💡Join me!
Hire me (and the other Captains in Captains of Leadership) to help you lead and facilitate change, growth and connection - If you’d like engagement and impact to be a regular part of your gatherings, let’s work together. If you like the sound of the new workshops I’ve built out for the International Energy Agency and the Cambodia project, connect with me on LinkedIn. Even better, let’s talk.
Sign up for productivity and wellness coaching - What one thing would you like to accomplish or feel better about in 2024? I can help. With a decade of experience in working with clients around the world, I’d love to work with you as well. Let's chat about how. I currently have 2 coaching spots open for 2024.
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