A slowbatical, something bittersweet and your one wild and precious life
Here's what's happening over at Hit Pause, Then Play (August 2022)
🤔 Pondering, researching, testing
It’s been a busy summer, and I’ve been experimenting. Have you? Summer is such a great time to do things differently. Here are 3 of the things I’ve been thinking about, researching and testing:
1. Human finitude, ageing, the passage of time, the people time takes (yes, all of us, eventually, and how), the things time do to us. These are the pebbles I’ve been turning over and around in my mind of late. Earlier this week, I read a short essay by Simon Evans called Chronicle of a Death Foretold. I was particularly moved by a passage that beseeches the reader to “take a slow, deliberate blink. And try and capture a snapshot in your mind”, to “somehow drop a pin […] to find your way when you need to”.
And this passage, yet another from the full essay, resonated deeply with what I’ve been reading in Bittersweet, by Susan Cain (see below):
They say it is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all. And of course, they are right. But more than that, loss is love. Or rather, Love guarantees loss, and loss authenticates love.
2. A slowbatical and reflecting on summer. Earlier this month, I found myself alone with no one to care for but a cat and a garden; my family members were away for two weeks. Anyone and everyone who knows me worried I would work around the clock, from sun-up, past sundown, through the night to the wee hours of morning, day after day. Yes, I love my work that much.
Fortune should have it, however, that early in the two weeks, I listened to a podcast on sabbaticals and slowbaticals, with Charlie Gilkey. The episode got me thinking about what I needed to make space for and what I needed to make space from.
Would you believe I slowed down - to working 4 hours a day at most - that I went walking in the sea nearly every day, I took naps when I needed to, I attended open-air jazz concerts, I stayed up late reading and researching side topics I’m into, I rested, I recovered, I recharged. It came at a good time - I had just returned from a 37-day trip to the United States, and I was a few weeks out from recovering from COVID. Did I write? No. Did my brain rest? Yes. Is my brain now filled with ideas? 100 times, yes.
Speaking of Charlie Gilkey, he sent out a post a few weeks back that has inspired me reflect on my summer. I thought you might like it, too. Check out 5 Questions to Reflect on Your Summer.
One of the questions is about the 1-3 highlights from your summer, and another is what are you taking with you from this season. One of my answers to both questions is, of course, the slowbatical. For the first time in my life (I kid you not), I slowed down. I took a serious pause. I created space for myself to breathe, to rest, to nourish those parts of myself I just haven’t “had time” to get to. I took that “slow, deliberate blink”. And the truth? That blink is helping me find my way.
3. A new morning routine. Just as my family was returning this summer from their time away, I listened to another inspiring podcast, this one on Optimizing Sleep and Sleep-Wake Timing, by Andrew Huberman, a neuroscientist and tenured Professor in the Department of Neurobiology at the Stanford University School of Medicine. It’s a fascinating episode that newly informed my thoughts on the morning routine, which I’ve been experimenting with for years.
I decided to try out the science and do two things from the podcast for just one week. Two things I have forever resisted - but I told myself I could do them for 7 days and then see - (1) take a cold shower of 1-2 minutes within an hour or so of rising; and (2) put off consuming coffee for 90-120 minutes. I have been drinking coffee upon rising for over 3 decades, and though delaying coffee consumption is also suggested in my friend, Jake’s book, Make Time, I have never been able to do it.
Well, guess what! I figured out how to take a cold shower and delay coffee, and have been doing the morning routine below for 2 weeks. The first week was hard until I figured out that if I exercised right after getting out of bed, I could easily put off coffee for 90-120 minutes. So here it is:
Get outside into the sunlight within 5-10 minutes of waking
Exercise in the sunlight (I run, or sea walk, or go for a very long beach walk on the weekend) for at least 10 minutes (I exercise 30-90 minutes every day, depending on the day, only because I love what movement does for me)
Meditate (I often combine this with exercise; it is beautiful)
Gratitude practice
Think about my day and set my highlight and intention
Take a cold shower of 1-2 minutes
Read 15-30 minutes (can be done while consuming …
Coffee … 90-120 minutes after waking
I realise this is a long morning routine; you may not have time for all of it. But there might be parts you’d like to try or experiment with. If you do experiment with parts of it, I’d love to hear how it goes. So far, I am loving early-morning exercise, cold showers (loving is a strong word) and holding on coffee. One of the best parts? It works. I fall - and stay - asleep very easily these days.
📚 Inspiring
Bittersweet: How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole, by Susan Cain (2022) - This will likely be one of the top 3 books of my year. Susan is a beautiful writer, and her topic, the power of sorrow and longing in human transformation (in a world of “toxic positivity”), is deeply thought-provoking. Many passages, including the one below, have stuck with me for days and nights and now weeks on end. Her book is accompanied by a brilliant playlist (the book is inspired by her curiosity around why listening to sad music was something that called for ridicule, many years ago when she was in college), which I also highly recommend.
Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience, by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi (1990) - A book that has been on my shelf for decades, I am finally diving in, and yes, I am loving it. Flow is something I consciously work to create the conditions for in my everyday life. But I’m talking out loud to the author as I did when I spoke out loud to Paul Bloom back in February, about The Sweet Spot. This time, I’m asking myself if, as Mihaly says, “these periods of struggling to overcome challenges are what people find to be the most enjoyable times of their lives.” I’m not sure.
🔥Sparking
Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?
Want more?
✍️You might like one or two of my posts on Medium
Enforced smiles and righteous outrage - Thoughts on a recent visit to the United States
Why I don’t write 500-1000 words every day and what I do instead - Do you need to be writing 500–1000 words a day to be a writer? What if the writing process were bigger and fuller than word counts and butts-in-seats?
Time’s run out - A poem inspired by Oliver Burkeman’s Four Thousand Weeks
Play makes us smarter - What happens to your brain when you play? For one thing, it releases endogenous (self-made, biologically made) opioids, which allows you to explore different contingencies and take on different roles.
Are screens getting in the way of creative collaboration? New research seems to suggest yes - But this should not mean the end of virtual collaboration — far from it.
💡Join me in September and October
Optimal Week - A simple but profound way of consciously living a great life, one week at a time. This is a six-week interactive online course with me starting in September; email me for details and a discount.
Productivity Coaching - Are you gearing up for “going back to school” (starting work again after vacation)? Are you already thinking about those long to-do lists, meetings and deadlines? Let's chat about how I can help. I have 1 coaching spot open; let’s talk before I fill up.
Design Thinking Conference (13-14 October, Amsterdam): I am thrilled to be one of this year’s breakout artists! If you’re at all interested in the fun we design thinkers get up to, I’d love to see you in Amsterdam. Email me for a 20% discount code.
🙏Thank you
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